The issue of FRIENDSHIP

Well, this is the first post, and the issue on my mind at the moment is the topic of friendship. Nowadays, and I guess always, people have struggled with making friends, keeping friends, and so forth. I think as human beings, we were created with a need for companionship and that's what drives us to want a friend to be able to socialize and spend time with. We do not like to be alone!
   I can say from experience, it is the hardest thing in the world to make friends, and be friends with people who you KNOW are good company and will be a true friend to you. Now I personally tend to be a shy, more suspicious and observant person, and I tend to watch a person for awhile before I decide if I would like to be friends with someone. Many times people just come up to me and are friendly. But before you can claim them as a friend, and move out of the "aquaintances" zone, as I like to say, there are some rules that are just common sense that you have to look for at first- the rest, you will most likely learn as you get to know the individual. Now, speaking from my own experiences, I have been in some not so incredible friendships. And each one that failed or died out caused me pain.
     As someone once told me, very straight forwardly, "You're too nice and sweet, and people are taking advantage of you." I will use that statement to open up one of the sub-topics of friendship...a little something I  call "parasitical friendships". Now I am sure everyone knows what a parasite is- one of those nasty microscopic bacterial creatures that live off of you, and don't give you any benefit, and only cause you pain instead. Well, that's how a friendship can be sometimes. I think the common terminology is a "Toxic Friendship", but personally, I think that is much to broad and vague. I once had a friend, and she was so sweet, but she was fiesty as well, but we became friends and we became very attached to each other. Over time, and unknown to me at the time, our friendship turned parasitical. We were both working through some serious issues in life- yet, i was focused on moving forward and conquering what I had, but she seemed to just stay in the same place and sometimes even seem worse. When she broke down, because I loved her so much, it impacted me in a negative manner. She also used to kind of use me in a way, to get what she wanted. Because of my naivety, all she had to do was tell me she wasn't feeling well, and I was at her beck and call, ready to do everything for her, thinking I was helping my dear sick friend. But many times after she got what she wanted, 5 minutes later all signs of "sickness" was gone. I just thought we were the greatest friends ever.
    Believe me, you do not want to be in a friendship like that. It really draws alot of you emotionally, and even physically. A friendship is like a partnership- you both got to be in it to win it! To win what? The most beautiful and treasured relationship you could have! Also, you must avoid what I like to say is a "conditional" or in a way, an abusive friendship. I find it utterly impossible to be friends with shallow people. I used to have "friends" that were my friends one moment, and the next, when they had to be with their club or whatever, I was no longer treated like a pal- I was treated as a silently inferior being. I could feel the tension! And then after it was all over, they were suddenly my bestest pal in the entire world. NO! Those friendships I had to cut off- to protect myself from more pain in my life than I was already going through in that time period. A true friend sticks by you, because they love you for YOU, don't love you one moment and then they stop loving you when they have to go to a chess club meet and you're not in it. Nope, sorry- hello, friendship doesn't work that way.

     Now a big issue is trust, but I am not sure I could advise on that. Everybody's trust levels are different. I tend to be more distrusting, but on the other hand, there are those people that trust you like right away. I guess everyone has to feel their own way around on that one. For myself, I try to be the friend that everyone knows that they can trust. The one who will stick by you thick and thin, be a support for you, keep your secrets safe(unless I know it is a self-destructive one.), and just over all, love you and cherish you for being what you are- YOU! I like to say, if people lose me as a friend, it's not going to be my fault. It's gonna be something you did- either you hurt me continually or are not trustworthy, etc. I won't give up on a person. But you know what, I want a friend to be the same way towards me. It's not fair for me to be doing all the lovin' and supportin', and not have a shoulder to lean on when I am about to collapse now is it? Well, the same is for you. Make sure your friends are not bad company and are gonna influence you in a negative manner or hurt you. Many of us will have to learn that the hard way. But it's all up to us to be cautious.
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